Diet pop culture: Dolph Lundgren’s Maximum Potential.

From my sweethearts at Everything Is Terrible! — isn’t it odd how the face of MAXIMUM FITNESS looks an awful lot like the face of serene sociopathy?

Either way, this dude — with his short shorts, his Nair-smooth legs, and his zinc-oxide lip balm — is basically my ideal man.

(Well…except for the shorts, the hairless legs, the lip balm, and the utter lack of human emotion in the face of his high technology lifestyle.)

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9 Comments

  1. Laurie
    Posted December 4, 2009 at 11:15 am | Permalink

    Oh my gosh! If I would have been drinking something while watching that, I think I would have sprayed it across my computer screen at least three times during that. I love how right after he says he has some simple exercises to relieve stress, it shows him urging a little boy to shoot him in the head, like that’s the first stress-relieving exercise! WOW! Thanks for that laugh, Michelle!

  2. Posted December 4, 2009 at 1:16 pm | Permalink

    Very funny! I’ve watched my share of Dolph Lundgren movies. The guy can really act. Like a muscle-bound Slap McHardcheese, that is.

    • Posted December 4, 2009 at 2:50 pm | Permalink

      I am not sure if I should be proud or ashamed to say…I have never seen a single Dolph Lundgren movie.

  3. Posted December 4, 2009 at 1:21 pm | Permalink

    hilarious and disturbing. I saw a few minutes of a fitness show on Discovery channel (something like that, maybe TLC) where a woman wanted to reach a fitness goal of being a water aerobics class instructor. Her “mentor” berated her terribly, told her she needed gravity and needed her joints to hurt if she expected to lose weight. She then changed her goal to ballroom dancing with her husband. At a start size of 22, another “self-esteem” expert berated her again, that she wouldn’t have fun if she wasn’t a size 12. It was appalling. She looked like she wanted to cry. It was so defeating. She kept saying how desperately she wanted to wear that size 12 dress (her helper even brought in mannequins to show her how gross a size 18 looked in that dress.) It was so sad, so damaging and so unhelpful.

  4. Posted December 4, 2009 at 2:15 pm | Permalink

    W.T.F?

  5. Posted December 4, 2009 at 3:55 pm | Permalink

    Since when is a running a full body sport? Runners doesn’t even remotely use your upper body!

  6. Posted December 4, 2009 at 11:21 pm | Permalink

    DOLPH LUNDGREN! Hahaha, gold. I love an action star with no personality whatsoever.

    PS. You must watch one of his movies. It will be awful, but it’s one of those things you really should do. I recommend ‘Showdown in Little Tokyo’ for his passion-less sex scene with Tia Carrere.

  7. Posted December 8, 2009 at 11:21 am | Permalink

    That was — I’m not sure if it was horrifying or terrifying or both. I must now cleanse my brain with cute kitten videos.

  8. Sarv
    Posted December 12, 2009 at 4:50 am | Permalink

    ….I’m not even going to lie, the lifeguard scene and shoulder rolling scene totally turned me on. I think I’m going to go sit facing the corner now. FML.

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