Hi! You’re here for the free thing. Good on you.
Since you came all this way, I’m going to email you a sweet little primer called How to Eat in Front of Other People.
Fancy cover, eh? Designed it myself. Yep.
It’s about eating…in front of other people.
You know. Strangers, annoying relatives who judge your food, dining companions on a diet who want to talk about how bad they’re being — those kinds of people.
And maybe also the little tyrant in your head who criticizes louder with each bite, in case you have one of those. Not that you do.
Sound good? Fill in the details, and it’s yours.
I will never, ever give your email away. Your secret’s safe with me.
You may even incur certain secret privileges by joining The List. Who can say?
Anyhow. You’ll need Adobe Acrobat Reader, but you can get that for free, too. And if you have any troubles, please email me — firstname.lastname@example.org
P.S. On very rare, very busy occasions, it can take up to an hour to reach your inbox. Patience is a virtue. So is checking your spam folder :)
P.P.S. If you’re already on The List but somehow missed out on the primer, email me directly and I’ll set you up.