I had breast reduction surgery 9 years ago, going from the aforementioned 38H+ down to a 38C. I still don’t regret getting rid of the 5 pounds of tissue that they took, but it definitely changed my self-image. Before, I was enormous on top, but because of that, my waist and hips looked smaller. After, I couldn’t help but notice my belly. And now that my belly actually sticks out farther than my breasts when you look at me from the side…

Just goes to show, you can change your body however you want, but until you change your MIND, you will never be happy with your body.

I’ve always had a belly, though. One roll below my waist and one above. When I’m on the smaller end of my weight range, the one above my waist can be sucked in so it looks like it doesn’t exist. The one below always sticks out around the same distance as my boobs, no matter what I weigh.

So, just because you’ve grown a belly, it doesn’t mean you’ve lost your waist. You just have a belly+waist.

But the overall trend has been toward more social acceptability, as my peer group became less fiercely mean-spirited (as La said). I don’t know if I would attribute the decline in social fun stuff since college to less acceptability or just less opportunity (no convenient concentrations of geeks my age anymore).

I was 14, I think, and pretty mortified. Still funny, though.

I wonder if practicing your “Not pregnant, just fat!” line by yourself would help you with your delivery or not. Might be worth a shot.

…you are not being asked The Stupid Question 100 times by one person, but one time by 100 people. It is not fair to take out your anger toward the previous 99 people who asked you TSQ on the unlucky 100th person to do so. The more polite you are, in fact, the worse the person will feel.

Quite helpful.

I do this quite a bit. I actually amuse myself by seeing if I can catch the ass-gapers in action. Sometimes they catch me catching them, and I laugh at them out loud or give them a knowing grin. I think it embarrasses them a little, to be reminded that people can see (and know) what they’re doing, and that they’re being waaaaay too obvious about it.

I also trip over my feet a lot because they are HUGE, and I’ve apparently never gotten used to them. I think part of it is that I need to work on being more mindful in my body, in general, because I kind of live in my head a lot, and I’m always preoccupied, thinking Highly Theoretical and Conceptual Thoughts while going about my day. Paying attention here and there to what I’m actually doing would be nice.

If someone asked me if I were pregnant, my off-the-cuff response would probably be, “I’d better not be!” but that’s probably not what you’re looking for.

I wonder if Miss Conduct (Robin Abrahams) has covered this? Ah, indeed, she has, here: http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/magazine/articles/2009/12/20/upstaged_by_christmas/

It’s the second question down the page.

Has this happened to anyone else, and if so, what do you say? I do my best to answer cheerfully, “Not pregnant, just fat!” But more often than not, my delivery is off (either the wording or tone go awry because I am so appalled at the rudeness, and so embarassed that my colleagues are scrutinizing my body). Any other suggestions?

I feel that it’s not right to respond to this rudeness with further rudeness (eg, “none of your goddman business!”) due to both common courtesy and the fact that I see these people every day, but does there exist a polite way to let them know that my belly is indeed none of their goddamn business?

So while I haven’t totally reconciled myself emotionally with this body of mine, I am happy that at least I have come a long way in figuring out how to “drive” it.

(I was going to make a lame joke about learning to parallel park my body but then it started to sound…a little weird.)

Yes, that’s true, but it’s because as we age (especially we women), we become invisible. I see this all the time when I am working with a certain colleague who is much younger and a real “knockout” by society’s standards. When I’m beside a traditionally beautiful and young person, other people (usually men) don’t even realize I’m there.

This can actually be a very interesting experience, as it enables me to surreptitiously observe testosterone at work and see how men can start to go all stupid and goo-goo eyed over a beautiful package with absolutely no content or content so vapidly narcissistic as to make it (her) unpalatable.

Yes, I am referring to a real person. And I don’t think I’m being catty. I’m simply observing how men cannot see narcissism in a beautiful (read skinny, young) woman. They still want her more than life itself.

Haha, so do I! I actually took the tacit bias test (or whatever it’s called) that was developed by Harvard (I think…bad memory here) in relation to whether I preferred fat people over thin people. And I preferred fat people, which kind of surprised me. I think because I assume someone who is fat is likely to be more friendly/understanding toward me.