Fat news: awesome and not-awesome edition.

The awesome

Fucking artificial pancreas, my friends. This is the natural evolution of the insulin pump. I am wondering if eventually they’ll be creating an artifical pancreas that also secretes glucagon. I used to have these conversations with people at work, because do you know how many people we saw suffering from diabetes? And not just the high blood sugar, no no no, but more often, the low blood sugar. Which can kill you right away, at worst, or just make your life fucking miserable at best. Which the artifical pancreas seems to have reduced by half.

The not-awesome

Let’s define more Canadian kids as fat! Based on WHO standards that are not always appropriate for North Americans. And not at all in response to recent stats showing that the “obesity epidemic” among children has probably leveled off, thus causing people with a major financial stake in treating childhood obesity to probably shit themselves during their tortured night sweats. Nope, not at all.

Let’s use surgery to combat social stigma! Because reducing stigma itself wouldn’t actually, you know, make money for anyone. Because that would involve making physical objects more universally accessible and teaching people not to be so fucking cruel to people who don’t look like them. Instead, kids who’ve already survived brain tumours should probably just suck it up and have some more surgery.

Let’s pretend that sugary drinks cause pancreatic cancer! Except the researchers go on to say that the association only existed among people who drank soda pop, and likely because people who drink that amount of soda pop probably have other, not-so-great health things going on. People who drank other sugary drinks (i.e. fruit juice) didn’t have the same risk. Also? The study didn’t control for smoking. In case you hadn’t heard, smoking probably causes cancer. Lots of types of cancer. One of which is pancreatic cancer.

That sound you just heard was me smacking myself in the face and falling off my chair.

Do you think, perhaps, drinking soda pop could be associated with smoking? I don’t know. What I do know is, if I were researching the link between pancreatic cancer and sugary drinks, I’d probably fucking look into it.

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